He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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