i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
