sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
