see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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