i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
