the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
