I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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