Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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