He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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