I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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