Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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