kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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