come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
