Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

Can I come over?

(786): View more from Florida

Can't... I'm at class right now.

(305): View more from Florida

No your not

(305): View more from Florida

I'm outside by your car.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?

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(864): View more from South Carolina

sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him

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(727): View more from Florida

i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.

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(631): View more from New York

sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood

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(561): View more from Florida

The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Just make sure you put pants on

(1-937): View more from Ohio

....then im not going

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