so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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