WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
