He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We're too hungover to prance.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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