i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
