16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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