i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
