but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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