So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
