It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize
