OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize