weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
