I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So vagazzling was a success
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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