Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My feet surprised me
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
