Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
All the doctor said was why
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
