i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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