puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
