Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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