he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
