dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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