finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
