what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
barbara walters just said penis...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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