Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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