id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
