I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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