if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
