We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
