he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I understand Curling. That high.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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