suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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