Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize