STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
