She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize