he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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