How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
