the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
