Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just pee around me
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
