Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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