FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
