We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
