I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
