you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
