you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
