He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
