What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We have so much sex to catch up on
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
