cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
