Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
