We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
