I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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