Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
